Friday, March 9, 2012

Top 5 Best Selling Books For Introverts


Like many introverts, one of the ways I like to recharge my batteries and stimulate my mind is through reading. I have been know to read up to five books a week, to say I love books is an understatement. I love the way they feel in my hands, I love the way they smell. I love the way they have the ability take me away to faraway places and the way they allow me to experience what it feels like to live the life of someone else. I love the way they teach me by opening my mind to a new perspective.

One of my all time favorite things to do is to visit a library or a bookstore. I can easily spend an entire day completely absorbed in a library. Usually when I am at a large bookstore, I find that it is very rare that I am interested in the books that are on display - the "best seller" books that appeal to the masses typically, do not appeal to me. I usually head to the back of the store where it's quiet and then I'll wander up and down every aisle, checking for new books by authors I already know and enjoy, or discover books on topics that I am interested in (which can vary greatly, since it seems that I am forever interested in something new).

A few days ago, I came across a best seller list on Amazon and I was pleasantly surprised to see that many of the books actually sounded really interesting to me. These are 5 of the books from the top sellers list that seem to be very relevant to introverts and especially for INFP's, forever on our quest for self improvement, building relationships and saving the world.

Promises for a follow up post to let you know what I thought about them once I've read them!

1. Wishes Fulfilled - Mastering the Art of Manifesting by Dr. Wayne C. Dyer

What caught my eye here was this line in the book description - "This book is dedicated to your mastery of the art of realizing all of your desires." Bingo!

I am on a life-long journey to recognize and realize my desires! Manifesting dreams in my life is a power that I've only recently tapped in to and I truly believe that our imaginations are the most powerful gift we have. It is a fact that everything that has ever been created, has first been imagined. I read another great book awhile back called The Work of the Imagination by Paul Harris and ever since, I've been putting the power of my imagination to work in my life. I've recently manifested a few major life changes (that have turned out quite well, I must add) and to think it all started right here in my imagination!


Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein

2. The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do In Life and In Business by Charles Duhigg

At a first glance, this book may sound kind of boring. But take a closer look and you will find that is really not so! It delves in to the very important idea that our habits create our destiny. Everyday we make choices, some of them very small, but nonetheless - it is our choices that create our lives. Our habits can define our success or our failure. It can determine whether we are healthy or sick. Our habits affect every area of our lives: our relationships, our careers and our futures.

Changing habits is a very effective part of creating a life of intention. We all make many choices each day and a lot of the time, we unconsciously make the same choices day in and day out. Auto pilot, if you will. Understanding that there is power in choices and being conscious of the choices we make is crucial in changing the circumstances of our lives. Another great book that helped me become aware of the power of habits is the very popular book by Stephen Covey, called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This book has made every top 10 self improvement, motivational, life changing list I have ever seen. Good stuff.


Your life is a result of your own decisions, not your conditions. - Stephen Covey

3. Dying To Be Me - Anita Moorjani

This book will probably be the very first book from the top seller list that I will read, I am so very excited about it!

Dying To Be Me is the true story of Anita Moorjani, a woman who later in life became ill with cancer (like so many other people we all know). For four difficult years she fought the disease, finally getting to the point where her organs began to shut down. During this time she was hospitalized and she had a "near death experience". Many people think of "near death experiences" as this mystical or supernatural thing that happens, but it's actually a very fascinating physical response going on inside the body. (Very interesting stuff, but something I will save for another time). After regaining consciousness, Anita was wrought with all this new information coursing through her brain. She came to realize the cause of her disease: it was all tied to her inner beliefs about herself and her worth.
Anita began to re-think the story that she had been told about herself through her life and as she began to change her view of herself, her body began to heal. She was released from the hospital after only a few weeks and the cancer inside her body disappeared! (Our thoughts are so very important!)

Anita tells the stories of her childhood in Hong Kong, her struggle to find love and to create a career for herself which all lead up to her lying in a hospital bed, her body riddled with malignant cancer cells. What she came to realize was that her entire life, she had been manipulated and taught to view herself through the eyes of her cultural society and the religious Hindu customs she was brought up in.

All of this resonates deeply with me. I have undergone a similar "death" this past year, moving to a foreign country to discover and re-define who I am, leaving behind the religious and cultural ideas I have been taught my entire life. It has been truly empowering for me and I feel so drawn to Anita's story.


You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your
love and affection then you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.
- Buddhist Tradition


4. The 5 Love Languages - The Secret To Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman

Ah, the journey to find love and to find a love that actually lasts!

I have read a few of Gary Chapman's books on the Love Languages and I can say that the information contained with in them has always been extremely beneficial for me. I think I have read at least four of his other books, but each one has taught me new things so I am unable to pass up the opportunity to learn a little more on my favorite topic, LOVE!

Gary teaches that there are 5 ways that we receive and give love in relationships. Each of us has a unique way that we naturally express our love to others. The way that we show our love is often the way that we wish to be loved in return. What tends to happen however, is that we are looking for our love to be returned by someone who may speak a completely different love language then us - meaning that the other person has their own unique way of showing love and they naturally express that love in their own way.Sometimes, when we don't get our love returned in the way that we desire it (or the way we naturally express our love or our "love language"), we sometimes believe that the person doesn't love us. What is really happening is that they are loving us in their own unique way, with all that they have, but yet - we don't perceive it as love. They too, are looking for our love to be expressed in a way that they understand and perceive as love. Basically, all this confusion in love languages can cause a total affection break down! As someone who has moved to a foreign country and is still learning the language, I know how frustrating it can be to want to express something to another person and not know how to speak the language!

The five love languages Gary teaches about are: words of affection (this is my love language), physical touch, gifts, quality time and acts of service. We all in some degree give and receive love in all 5 ways, however, there is one that is very important to us! Wouldn't you love for your partner to know how to express their love to you in a way that makes you feel completely and utterly loved? Wouldn't you like to know that you are loving someone in a way that reaches them? Learn and teach everyone you know about the love languages!

Gary has also written a
great book about showing love to our children. Understanding your child's love language is imperative. It was really eye opening for me in my relationship with my children, who I would shower with praise and verbal love and encouragement (because my love language is words of affection). Imagine my surprise to find out that it was a language they did not fully understand! I had to learn what love language they spoke and start to show them my love in a new way that they would more easily receive. My children (like most children) speak the language of quality time and gifts! This also opened my eyes to the way my children love me. They may not sing my praises and tell me how much they appreciate me every day, but when they want to spend time to cuddle up to read a book with me or they make me a homemade gift, they are showing me their love, via their love language!

Inside every child is an "emotional tank" waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. - Ross Campbell, co-author of The Five Love Languages of Children

5. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

A book all about introverts! A few years ago, I took the Meyers Briggs Personality test and the results of this test changed my life. Finding out that I was an INFP (which stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceptive) explained so many things to me and really brought me to a new level of self appreciation for the gift of who I am.

First and foremost, I am an introvert. People commonly think that being introverted means being shy, akward or some sort of social outcast or maybe even a recluse.This is a common misconception because a small part of the population (30%) are introverts. The world that we all live in is designed for and by the extroverted masses. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking is a book that has the power to change how introverts are seen and understood by the rest of the extrovert world and more importantly, to help change the way introverts view themselves.

An introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people. They are your friends or family who you have to drag out to parties, the ones who prefer to stay home or interact with you on a one on one basis. This is not based on moods, anxiety or anti-socialism. It is actually all about the way an introvert's brain functions differ from an extrovert's.

Introverts have more activity in the frontal lobes of the brain and anterior, or front, thalamus. These areas are activated when a person's brain takes on internal processing such as remembering, problem solving and planning. Extroverts exhibit more activity in the anterior cingulate gyrus, temporal lobes and posterior thalamus. These areas are typically thought to be more involved in sensory processing such as listening, watching or driving.
This is way Introverts feel drained in social atmospheres and energized when they are able to have time to go deep inside their minds. They find great joy in exploring their thoughts and feelings, listening to music, reading, doing creative activities, etc. Introverts do love people, however, they are most happy when they are socializing with those who they connect to on a deeper level. They also really love a good debate! Surface level conversations and "chit chat" tend to make introverts shut down.

For years I never understood why when in large social circles, I was always the first person to want to go home. Even spending time with my family during the holidays would absolutely deplete me. Once I understood the way my brain works and that it was just the way I am, I was able to set limits on the time I would spend surrounded by people. I was able to explain to my friends and family that I love them, but I need time alone. Finding quiet time to be alone when you are a mother of two can also be quite a challenge and this is something that I literally have to schedule for myself, so that I can recharge and be a better mom.

Understanding these pieces of myself has helped me in so many ways. I highly recommend taking the Meyers Briggs test. (It's free) I share it with everyone I know, because frankly, I am curious to dig deeper inside the people I know, but mostly, because that knowledge helps me to improve my relationships and how I relate to others. You can find lots of great information online about the various personality types and a great in-depth book on the different personality types is a book called Please Understand Me.


That is my top 5 books for Introverts from Amazon's best seller list. I look forward to reading them and I hope that maybe some of these books may be of interest to you.

I am always looking for new books to read and especially books that other INFP's have enjoyed. If you have any recommendations, please share!

Happy reading!

Search & Win

3 comments:

  1. As an INFP, this post almost made me cry. I wish I could give you a hug, awesome blog! :) I have already order a few of these books and I hope the read more! Let me know what you think of them as well!

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  2. Thank you for reading - hugs my fellow INFP :)

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  3. I was beyond thrilled to see that most of those books are ones I've read and adore. <3 another INFP :)

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